The Skinny Pose

Whether you were a fan or not of her daytime show, Oprah changed our landscape. And by landscape I mean often in the physical sense. She is the one who showed us that we were wearing the wrong bras. She showed us how carrying the right sized handbag could make you look taller. And she took us jean shopping where we learned about all the do’s and don’ts of the the cuts and rinses of denim.

We got a lesson in how to look great at any age.

And among the vast number of things Oprah improved, was how to take a great picture---how to look more svelte in photographs. We learned that the most universally flattering pose was to stand slightly sideways, angled with one  shoulder up with one leg a bit bent. And our head was to be tilted slightly upward to offset double chins. And we were to stand with at least one hand on our hips to hide the wiggle-waggle  of our arms.

Thus, the skinny pose was born. 


It was and is, completely awkward.

Yet it is in every photograph from Facebook to the red carpet.  The pose looks like someone hit the copy and paste icon on their computer over and over again. We all look  like some Andy Warhol pop art series hanging on a wall at MoMA.

I am so over it.

But I suppose the upside is that since everyone maintains the same posture it makes it a lot easier to photoshop a head on a different body. Maybe people might not notice if I place my head on Sara Jessica Parker’s body in a photograph---except for the designer clothing---and the Manolo shoes—none of which comes close to anything hanging in my closet.

Maybe there is no upside after all. Maybe we are stuck looking like a bunch of photographic clones.

At least we look won’t look fat.

And God knows that is something Oprah sure knows a whole lot about.