Genderless Misdeeds

On a recent episode of the Showtime series Shameless it comes to the attention of the Gallagher family that a convicted pedophile has moved into their neighborhood.

The eldest Gallagher brother, fearing for the welfare of his younger siblings, walks down to the local bar and puts together a posse of men. The goal was to intimidate the pedophile into moving away from the area.

But when the vigilante group rings the doorbell of the convicted felon, they are met with a young very attractive female. Disappointed, they gather up their bats, chains and bare fists and walk away.

The female felon was viewed as every boy’s fantasy instead of what she really was-- a child abuser.

At some point in one my daughter’s time in the high school, several boys noticed the physical attractiveness of one of the school’s female employees. And so they create a Facebook group called I want to bang “Employee XX”.

The principal, upon knowledge of this very large all-male Facebook group not only called each boy individually down to his office for a discussion on sexual harassment and cyber impropriety, but also called in all the parents of the boys as well.

It was a very big deal.

But at exact same time that all this turmoil was going on with the boys creating the I want to Bang Employee XX Facebook group, the principal also became aware that several high school girls had also created their own Facebook group . The girls called theirs’  I want bang “Teacher XY”—a group of female students dedicated to the sexual worship of a very popular and athletically built male teacher.

But not one female student belonging to this Facebook group met with any trouble from the principal. Not one parent of these girls was called. The principal perceived this Facebook group as flattery and not sexual harassment. He remained oblivious to the gravity of the female students’ cyber impropriety. He saw no harm in what the girls had done--he did not view both behaviors of the students as apples to apples.

And while we have come a long way in re-calibrating the what good for the goose is good for the gander scale, there is still deep rooted misunderstanding and confusion over appropriate sexual behavior. There is still inequality between the sexes. Education is still lacking. Because when an adult woman takes advantage of an underage boy, it is pedophilia and not a fantasy come true; and when a man endures inappropriate sexual attention in the workplace from a female or a group of females it is sexual harassment and not flattery.

Everyone needs to study the rules without prejudice—because misdeeds have no gender.