Pacifiers and Trees

Kara was the only one of my children to use a pacifier. She was magically self-soothed. It’s not that I didn’t try to coax my other 2 into using a blinky—they just had an aversion to it. They preferred my arms to a plastic odontic nipple.

Unfortunately my father became gravely ill during Christmastime. And the thing about death is that it waits for no one---and I was acutely aware of that at that time. So I had to be prepared for the worst during the busiest time of the year—because that is the other thing—Christmas arrives on the 25^th—it waits for no one either.

And my children were little—8, 6 and 4 years old. They waited all year for Santa and the tree and all things Christmas to come. And while yes Christmas is all about family and being together, it is also about the “stuff” too. It was a little overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do first.

I needed to prioritize. I needed to develop a plan. And what I realized was that all we needed was a wreath on the door with a spotlight shining on it, a tree, and a few presents underneath it—the gifts didn’t even have to be wrapped, and Christmas could arrive—no matter what the circumstances. I didn’t need to decorate the fireplace or bake cookies. I didn’t need to send cards or polish the silver. Ribbons, bows and spectacular wrapping paper were just a perk. A tree and a wreath and a key present or two was all that was needed.

And now every year that is the mindset I put myself in. Because it is really easy to get caught up in all the things we think we need to do at Christmas. It is really easy to get so consumed with the details that you forget to be in the moment. It is really easy to become the Grinch and Scrooge rolled up into one.

So a day or 2 after Thanksgiving I put up my children’s tree—which is artificial—and then hang the wreath on the door. And then I exhale. I feel better. I am self-soothed. Life can hit me with her best shot and Christmas can still arrive. No binky is necessary.