Thongs

When my eldest daughter was in high school all the girls wore short pleated Abercrombie skirts. And when the wind blew the skirts would puff up like an umbrella revealing that which was not meant to be seen.

VPI (visible panty line) is a fashion faux pas. It is deemed unsightly. And designers, in an effort to prevent this undergarment grievance invented a thong. And so instead of seeing an elastic line cutting the flesh at the base of the buttocks and above and across the hip, we must now see a T-band of fabric disappear into crevices that I do not care to ponder and endure the wiggle-waggle associated with an un-arrested derrière.

I do not find VTI (visible thong line) any less egregious than VPI.

And during the time the girls wore those short pleated Abercrombie skirts a popular football player would position a mirror in his hand such that as the girls proceeded up or down the stairwell he could take a gander at things not meant to be seen.

That is—until the principal took the mirror away--and the boy had to wait for windy days.