On Expired Food

A person who shall remain nameless offered me a pickle with the sandwich she had kindly prepared and served me.

Instinct told me that perhaps I ought to check out the expiration date on the pre-opened jar from which the pickles came.

     

They were a little over 5 years past the stamped-on date.

So I said You need to throw these pickles away—they are no longer good. At which point the person who shall remain nameless scathed You are so ridiculous—pickles never spoil.

And then she took a bite out of the 5 years past the expiration date kosher dill to prove her point.

She said It doesn’t taste funny at all.

But I still refused to eat one.

Because I am of the belief that the FDA knows what they are doing when they mandate expiration dates on labels.

And those pickles were really old.

And when 2 cannibals took a bite out of the comedian the one said to the other Does this taste funny to you? The cannibal replied No--- but I am sure he is fresh.

“Funny” is a qualitative term that should never quantitate the “fresh”ness of any food.