Now that I am of a certain age there are times at night—specifically 3 am—the time paranormal analysts call the devil’s hour or dead time--when I become overheated. Compared to some other women, the physical symptoms are not that bad. My body awakens prior to the internal inferno so the advanced warning enables me to remove the bed covers so when the hormones spike I am already cool enough to deal with the onslaught. The rise in internal body temperature doesn’t really bother me—what bothers me is what the temperature spike does to my normally rational brain.
What I cannot stand is how my brain scrambles like a beaten egg at 3 am. And the thoughts that seem rational and sound at 3 pm no longer seem so rational and sound 12 hours later. And the worst part of it is that the intellectual part of my brain understands whatever I am thinking at 3 am is insane, but is unable to harness the psychosis. Because when you are of a certain age and the hormones spike at the devil’s hour, psychosis runs amuck. And the demons laugh in its wake.
So for example when your most trustworthy child tells you at 3 pm her proposed plans to fly to Chicago, stay in her friend’s townhouse on the lake shore, and then take the bus to Grant Park for Lollapalooza you think Wow that sounds like fun. What a great opportunity. Isn’t it fabulous to have such an adventurous child who is unafraid to travel and experience new things? At 3am—not so much.
At 3 am you think What if terrorists target Chicago? What if her friend’s house gets robbed and they don’t have time to get into the panic room (because at 3 am you think people have panic rooms)? What if she gets hurt and loses her ID and the hospital can’t call me (because in the 3 am scenario she not only gets hurt but she is alone and unable to speak)? What if she gets a tattoo or a nose ring (because at 3 am it doesn’t occur to you that she doesn’t need to go all the way to Chicago to get a tattoo or a nose ring)? What if one of the band members sees her in the crowd and makes her a groupee ( I have seen the movie Almost Famous and at 3 am this seems like a reasonable possibilty)? What if she gets roofied (again, because that can only happen in Chicago and not anywhere else) And it gets more and more ridiculous until I cannot even breathe. What if? What if? What if?
But by 4 am the hormones stabilize. The breathing becomes unremarkable. And the synapses in my brain resume normal activity. Reason and sensibility regain mental rule. The devil’s hour has passed. But I am exhausted. This little trip into the what-ifs has sucked the life out of me. And in a few short hours I will be expected to function like a human.
Folklore says that at 3 am the demons, witches, and supernatural beings are at their most powerful—it is the devil’s hour—the opposite time of when time Christ died (3 pm)—dead time. Black magic is at its peak of effectiveness. It’s the time when the sleep hag assaults you. Ask any woman of a certain age if this is true—and they will tell you—3 am hormonal spikes at are akin to being mauled by the occult—in fact Lucifer himself may be the facilitator of the hormonal surge—it sure feels like a living hell.
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