For all intent and purposes, my nephew is having a destination wedding. The mass will be held at a church about 45 minutes away, and the hotel is about an hour and a half further out than that. We will have hotel rooms for the night. And my nephew and his bride have arranged for party buses to drive everyone to and from the hotel to the venue, which is located on the LI sound.
Because the mass is fairly early, and more importantly because the dresses my girls plan on wearing for the reception leave them a bit over- exposed for church, we have all decided to wear more modest dresses to the ceremony, and then we will all change into our reception dresses once we arrive at the hotel. We now have double outfits each with double accessories. There are many things to remember---there is packing to do.
And when I was on the phone the other night with Sam, I was expressing my concern that everyone would remember to bring all their “stuff “. I did not want to get to the hotel and hear Mom, I forgot…. Because even though technically I would not be responsible, everyone will still hold me accountable.
But Samantha had a solution. And if you do not know my daughter personally-- let me give you a brief description of her nature. She is the eldest. She likes order. She likes direction. She is an accountant by profession. She loves the precision of numbers and columns and automatic pencils. She likes color coding and label makers. When she was in college she carried a Filofax and had tiny tiny stickers to label events. She enjoyed knowing, because she was in a sorority, every party and social get together from August through May. When she and her sisters were little, she was always the teacher when they played school. She is always concerned about something—even when she is relaxed. She is a reliable child.
So when she suggested a plan to insure that each of us remembered all our stuff I was prepared for something that Homeland Security might have devised. I was prepared for detailed protocol. And she did not disappoint.
Samantha suggested that I prepare a list, specific to each person, of all the “stuff” they were required to bring. And at the doorway, before we left, I was to stand guard at the door. In my hand would be a clipboard with everyone’s list. And each person would have to physically show me item by item, each “thing” they needed to bring. And I, and only I could check it off from the list. Once each item was fully accounted for, the person would receive a pass—and only a pass could gain them entry into the car.
And I laughed—mostly because she was serious. And I said okay but who is going to do that for me?—and she said I will. And I thanked her---in between my laughter--because it was a good plan—it’s just that I am not going to do that—or maybe I will just modify her plan.
After all how much Mommy-ing am I still required to do? At what age do I get to macro-manage instead of micro-manage? Everyone will have to meet me in the middle--I will make each person’s checklist, but then they will be responsible from there. And in the spirit of Homeland Security, I ask will ask each of them to enforce: if you see something—say something. If you see a pair of Badgley Mischka black silk shoes in the bathroom, say something. If you see 3 dresses hanging in the car instead of 4, say something. It is important to report all suspicious activity to the authorities. It is the world we live in. This policy prevented a bomb from going off in Times Square, there is no reason this same policy might also prevent an explosion over a forgotten handbag. I wonder if Janet Napolitano knows about clip boards and entry passes?
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