Il Maloccio

One of my dearest friends moved the other day and so I decided to keep an Italian family tradition alive. I brought her a housewarming gift. It wasn’t Tupperware or a sterling silver platter. I brought her a bottle of olive oil, a box of kosher salt, bread (in the form of bagels) and a broom. I had no idea why at that time, but I understood that unless I brought her those things, il maloccio could be cast on my friend and her new abode. Because il maloccio is a curse brought on by envious people.

And while I should have known better than to acquiesce to superstition, I just couldn’t take the risk of allowing my friend to be the victim of the Italian evil eye—even if she is Irish. Because from what I understand, il maloccio does not discriminate. All people of every race, ethnicity and creed are subject to risk. And if one is the recipient of il maloccio, a strega is needed to remove it. And I am pretty sure Garden City has no certified Italian stregas that I could call upon if in need. Stregas are just not listed in my Garden City phone book.

And so I instructed her to sprinkle the salt outside of her doorways and windows as specified by information I obtained on Google. This would keep the evil outside. And then I explained to her that the broom would sweep away all sorrow, the bread would keep her hunger-free, and the olive oil would keep her husband faithful.

And even if the salt only serves to keep the slugs away, the broom only keeps the floors clean, the bagels end up as breakfast for the workmen, and the oil only lubricates a squeaky hinge, it’s still a good housewarming gift. And if il maloccio is kept away it is even better---because her new house is beautiful---and people will be envious.

Meglio prevenire che curare. (Better safe than sorry.)