Which is Better...?

At the dinner table one night after having studied Death of a Salesman in class that day I opened up a discussion. I asked my parents which was better—to be well-liked or well-respected? They both gave a simultaneous response: my mother said well-liked and my father said well-respected. And my mother turned to my father and said—isn’t it better to have lots of friends---to have people who like you? And my father retorted with why would I want to have friends who do not respect me?

I am my father’s daughter. I prefer to be well-respected with the hope that it will lead to people liking me—because the truth of the matter is that in the best of worlds I would be both well-respected and well-liked.

Many years later at my own dinner table I asked my three girls is it better to be pretty or to be smart? All three simultaneously responded. Sam and Kara said smart and Briana said pretty. And Briana said if you are pretty then people won’t care if you are smart. And Sam said if you are smart you will figure out a way to be pretty.

Luckily for them they are smart and pretty. And so the question is moot.