The Truth About Soulmates

Not too long after my cousin Gary died an untimely death, my Aunt (his mother) gave me a book to read. It was called How the Universe Works. The book was given to her by her daughter-in-law who was given to a more bohemian lifestyle. Unquestionably, the book was a little bit out there---very new age--yet exceptionally provocative. It was provocative to the point that merely reading the forward put me in jeopardy of excommunication from the Catholic Church—which is probably why I liked reading it so much.

One of the chapters revolved around the idea of soulmates. The theory was that souls traveled around in packs here on earth—each member of the pack was a mate. A soulmate, contrary to everyday definition, was not simply a solitary monogamous romantic liaison---soulmates came in the form of friends, teachers and relatives. They were anyone from the pack who allowed us to learn and reach a higher state of consciousness and wisdom. Some soulmates were permanent and some were transient. And recognition of a soulmate is instantaneous. A soulmate is anyone you feel an intuitive connection to—someone you feel you have known all your life—because you have—in previous lives.

And I can say without equivocation that I can recall in vivid detail the first meeting of every close friend I have ever had. I can recall the clothes people were wearing. I can recall the exact table they were sitting at. I can recall the smile they gave me the instant our gazes met. And that goes for male soulmates too. If I close my eyes I can step back in time and paint an entire movie set of the meeting. And just like the theory goes—some of those soulmates remain and some have moved on. But in all cases I have learned from the encounters.

I think one of the worst movie lines ever created was from the movie Jerry Macquire. It the “you complete me” line. It has ruined an entire generation of women. It presupposes that only one person can be the ying to your yang. It presupposes that every person has only one true eternal soulmate---as if humans are a lock and key. I don’t believe that is necessarily so. I think many people serve to be your soulmate. Many people shape a person’s completeness. And while in many romantic relationships a soulmate may become a permanent fixture—for others a romantic soulmate comes successively.  People can love, and then love again. Subsequent loves are simply new opportunities to grow. It doesn’t mean the fallen away person must be forgotten to move forward. To the contrary-- unless past lessons are integrated the former soulmate’s teachings were a failure. And failure begets failure.

A few years back I went on Amazon.com to purchase my own copy of How the Universe Works. It is no longer in print. But I was able to order a used copy from a private bookseller in a little town in Northern California. Every now and then I flip through the pages. Each time I do it prompts a new thought---always a bit enlightening. And while according to the book an inanimate thing may not be a soulmate, I have learned lessons from it nevertheless. And those learned lessons have made my soul a bit more complete—just like the rest of the souls in my pack have done for me---and to which I do for them too.