Not As It Seems

A little boy who was maybe 4 or 5 years old asked the man at the counter of Dunkin Donuts Do you make pumpkin donuts? The man said Yes we do! The little boy then asked But how do you make it pumpkin? At which point the man at the counter replied We put pumpkin in it—would you like one?

The boy nodded.

But when the man handed the boy a fresh nutmeg colored glazed donut the boy became indignant and  proclaimed That’s not a pumpkin donut! Where are the eyes nose and teeth?

A few days back my youngest daughter said Do you want to go with me to the Magrette exhibition at the MOMA?

I could not say yes fast enough. Viewing fine art is among our favorite activities.

But I was also forced to ask Wait—who’s Magritte again—and do I know him?

Because unlike my daughter I did not study art history in college.

I lack her sophistication.

And she said He is a surrealist but not quite like Dali. His works almost always have men wearing bowler-style hats.

Relieved, I shook my head in recognition.

And there we were---standing in a crowded gallery room admiring one of Magritte’s most famous oils on canvas: a green pipe with the words ceci n’est pas une pipe painted below the image. The English translation from French is This is not a pipe.

Magritte’s point was that if what people saw really was a pipe, then in theory one could fill it with tobacco and smoke it. Thus the answer to the question Is this a pipe? would resoundingly be no—it is not. 

Boiled down to its bones, the surrealistic philosophy is simply: nothing is ever as it seems—it is always more, less or not-at-all. Reality always is distorted.

So the phrase it is what it is in the world of the surrealist is less true than it isn’t what it isn’t.

And when the Dad finally intervened in the dispute between his son and the Dunkin Donuts man, the result was an admonishment. The Dad tapped his son on the shoulder and said Buddy--stop harassing the poor guy. Do you want the donut or not?

In surrender, the boy said yes.

Because even if a pumpkin donut is not a pumpkin donut, it still tastes just as sweet---that is the constant, not the variable. And it is a delectable thought that Magritte and all the other surrealists might put in their pipe and smoke until satiated.