Everything is a Thing

She grumpily said in her hardcore upstate New York accent: When did everything get so God damned complicated?

She was referring to the fact that her son had painstakingly and obsessively compulsively spelled out “Will you marry me” in Skittles in a courtyard in a Boston park. He then orchestrated an audience of family and friends to hide behind nearby  trees and bushes to  photograph, videograph and witness  the surprise proposal.

This mother  further added What was wrong with opening a velvet box in private—like his father did?

I could not help but giggle.

I sympathized with her bewilderment.

Because for Millennials, everything is a thing. Every event—large or small—private or not—is an excuse for a celebration and a posting.

Most recently I observed my niece in agony over choosing the right stationary, font and wording of the printed invitations to ask her closest friends to be in her bridal party. She also supplied a perfect gift to accompany the perfect invitation.

I thought Why does she need a printed invitation? What’s  wrong with asking your girlfriends over the phone to be in the wedding party—like I did? Why is a gift required—isn’t the gift given at the rehearsal dinner enough? Why must  every step and event be scrapbook fodder?

Weddings are a full time celebration:  pre-engagement party parties, extravagant 3 day destination bachelorette  parties, super inclusive rehearsal dinner  parties, and after parties to the wedding reception as well as after after parties.

It is endless.

Each event is clad with a pre and a post.

I blame it all on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram.This generation knows nothing other than 100% documentation and competitive comparison.

Simplicity and privacy are passé.

Weddings are not just expensive, but exhausting.

But the ray of light is simply this: underneath it all is the realization that they will never pass this way again.

Millenials recognize that the whole is the sum of its parts.

Much can be said for transforming  moments into memories;  beneath the unsatiable appetite is a savoring.

And I for one, cannot wait for it to be my daughters’ turns, so I can get in on the tasting.