In the "Flow"

There have been times where I have been playing a sport and for no particular reason my playing ability exceeded my talent. My friend Harriet called it playing out of your socks. For no particular reason I was propelled forward—as if a deity possessed my body. I was not in control of my own destiny—some other being was. Taoists (and sport enthusiasts) call this being in the flow.

When you are in the flow all the puzzle pieces fit, all the circumstances line up, and all the stars and planets triangulate seamlessly. Destiny overrules free will—or free will relents to destiny’s agenda.

Kara completed taking her SATs by the end of junior year. And when the smoke cleared the working number put her into a rung of schools a click above her sisters. And that was a good thing because each daughter essentially wanted the same type of school and was unwilling to share their own school with their sisters. So when Kara and I watched the computer screen and saw that her SAT scores well exceeded the predicted number we made an appointment with her guidance counselor.

And while it is true that there are a zillion colleges out there, it doesn’t take much to scratch them off of the list.  In the sea of colleges barely a handful of them will ever meet your child’s criteria. By the time you rule out size, academic program, location, social life and the likeliness of entry it boils down to one or two at most. And oftentimes a school that sounds good on paper is just all wrong when you arrive on campus—it just doesn’t “feel” right (but that is a blog post for another day).

And Kara ended up at Emory because for seemingly no particular reason every detail fell into place. The visit, the tour, the community, the admissions person she accidentally met with, and even the fact that the school offered Boar’s Head cold cuts on campus propelled Kara forward effortlessly. It was as if the school was choosing her. A wave pulled her in and crested into the flow. Kara used the word “syzegy” in her Emory essay to describe the attraction.

Being in the flow is a unique circumstance. It does not often happen but when it does it is exhilarating. One feels untouchable—because you are. You succeed despite yourself—success is directed from outside of yourself. It’s why the Giants beat Green Bay last Sunday. Despite bad on field calls, key plays were made with seemingly little or no effort by the team. The low percentage Hail Mary pass was caught. The Giants collectively were in the flow.

Which is why people like to encourage others to go with the flow—it’s the cousin of being in the flow. And it’s because the flow in both cases is leading you someplace unanticipated or unexpected yet navigationally correct.  I see it as surrendering to a higher power—taking a leap of faith that there is something out there that can direct you better than you can do so yourself. And you don’t need a touch screen to get there. You just hit the cruise control and take your foot off of the gas.