If you drive down my block or any other block in
Garden city this time of year you will see wreaths on every front door. Half of
the wreaths are in the shape of a heart, and the other half are evergreen with
a red velvet bow. 50% of the residents in
Garden City are still stuck in Christmastime.
Weather has nothing to do with it—this winter has
been warm. It would take little climate related annoyance to remove the
decorations. Nope. It’s a cultural thing--a quirk of the town. Half of the population leaves their Christmas
wreaths up until Easter. And I have gotten used to it.
But the thing that grates on my nerves this deep into
February is not the yellowing pine boughs or rotting pine cones adorning the
front door—it is the twinkling lights. I am annoyed by people who have not yet
pulled the plug.
It’s time to tell those people that shutting off the
timer on their Christmas lights is overdue. Because although little white
lights conform to the Garden City’s dress code—the pass expired on January 6th—Epiphany.
So. If you are an offender, yank the unwanted cord
out of the socket right now. There isn’t an acute need to remove the lights
from the shrubbery, but the electrical supply must be cut. And if you know of
an offender, sneak onto their property and pull the plug out for them. Make the
assumption that if the offender is too lazy to disconnect their own cord, they
will be too lazy to reconnect it for spite. And if God is good—you may even
receive a thank you from that neighbor---and not a summons from the Garden City
police for trespassing.
just waiting for the batteries to die and the ground to get hard enough to support my son on a ladder!
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