Not Looking Your Age

When my children were growing up, in every class, there was a child or two whose physical appearance exceeded their chronological age--they looked much older than their peers. And because there was a gap between expecatation and reality people expected that their behavior match the more advanced number. There was a tendency to think these children behaved immaturely when that was not the case. These children indeed acted their age—they just seemed immature because they physically looked older.

And when these children became teenagers they profited from the fact that they looked older. They escaped the blue light at the entrance to the bar. They enjoyed adult behavior before their time.

My mother is always well dressed—on trend. Her hair is perfectly colored and coiffed youthfully. She is blessed with good skintone—she has few lines on her face. Her make-up is flawless. And despite a nagging knee and back, she walks with a healthy gait. Her arthritis in her feet does not warrant the wearing of unfashionable shoes. Her mind is sharp. People tell her on a routine basis You look wonderful for your age. Her number in years does not match her appearance. At age 81 she looks at least 10 to 15 years younger.  

But she is not.

And sometimes when she speaks and acts like an 81 year old woman I am annoyed. I must remind myself that just because she does not have gray hair, wrinkles and black orthopedic shoes—she is indeed old. She is entitled to behave like an old person—because she is. I must force myself to look beyond her physical appearance. I must force myself to take a breath and think that one day I too will be her age.

But if genetics in on my side, and I get brave enough for the botox and fillers I will not look my age either---I too will look younger than my years. And that will be a comfort. Better to look 65 and be 81 than to look 81 and be 65. Better to look 21 and be 18 than to look 18 and be 21. No matter which end you are at the age spectrum, not looking your age has its benefits.