Arriving at Adulthood

I heard on Good Morning America the other day that adulthood is not fully reached until age 28.

I disagree.

There is a very lovely African American woman who works at the Home Goods store in Rockville Center. She is rather aloof. I estimate her age to be in her late seventies. And whenever I find myself in the store, uncannily, I seem to always end up at her register—and when I do, I always ask How is your Mama?

Every time, upon me asking this question, the woman’s demeanor changes. She warms up like toast.

The woman's Mama is 99 years old and lives in her own home by herself outside of Atlanta. The near centagenarian still drives a car, gardens, and cooks and cleans for herself. Despite her advanced age, she clearly is still the matriarch. And her daughter, despite her advanced age, still listens to her Mama’s sage counsel. As her daughter, she is still mandated to tell her Mama where she is going, who she is going with, and how long she is going to be there. She too must report when she has arrived back home. The daughter must also give daily reports and updates concerning her own children and grandchildren—all of whom are accomplished. 

And if the daughter does not fulfill her Mama’s wishes, the daughter is still not above being chided.The daughter remains not only respectful, but grateful to still have an elder to mind and take care of her.

No one becomes an adult until they are parentless. As long as you have an elder to answer to, no one can never truly be a grown-up. It is why even when elderly parents die, the children, no matter what their age, feel orphaned and alone--filled with a sense of Who is going to take care of me now?

And after the woman updates me on the status of her Mama, she always says Thank you so for asking and then she inquires How is your mother doing? And I tell her she is fine--and still trying to tell me what to do too.

And we complete our transaction. And we both carry on with our tasks. And we both think to ourselves I can’t wait to call my mother when I get home and tell her how that nice lady at the store asked about her again.

And both Mamas will be pleased.