Changing the Calendar

There are some holidays and calendar events that in my opinion need amending. One of them is Easter. I think Easter should always be the second Sunday in April. I like consistency. I hate wondering every year When is Easter? March? April? Is it early or late?

Easter should be permanently moved to the second Sunday in April when the weather is prime for linen and patent leather shoes. And without the interference of canon law, figuring out springtime vacations would also be made so much easier.

I also think the advent of the new seasons needs altering: spring should begin March 1^st, summer should begin June 1^st, fall should begin September 1^st and winter should begin December 1^st. I really do not care how the rotation of the Earth’s axis plays into the designated change of seasons. In my world science and practicality need not always mesh.  No matter what the standards dictate, December 1^st feels like winter. March 1^st feels like spring.

But the most “off” holiday of all is New Year’s Eve and Day. It does not belong in December/January at all. It is just too close to Christmas. Everyone is tired. Everyone is over the joy of social gatherings. And it is cold--really cold—too cold to wear little party dresses and sandals. It also does not feel like a time for renewal or rebirth—nature is in hibernation. And there is not a whole lot to look forward to other than snow, dry skin and chapped lips.

No. The place most natural in the calendar for the celebration of New  Year’s is August 31/September 1. The holiday needs to be at the end of summer when you put all your play things away and you buckle down to do some work. That is where the crescendo lies. September is the start of new things—the new school year—the prospect of success. The weather is also perfect for skimpy party wear—not to mention how everyone looks better with a tan. And even the New York City police in Times Square would embrace the idea—shorts, t-shirts and flip flops are much easier to search for contraband than puffy coats and Uggs.

And tired women like me would find the celebration an occasion to look forward to—instead of one more holiday thing to scratch off of the list—one more outfit to squeeze into before going back to Weight Watcher’s.

But like many things, I am not in charge. The calendar is something I am not entitled to fix—no matter how much sense my argument holds. So I will slather on more extra strength Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion to my parched body and apply more Burt’s Bees to my lips. And I will pull the snow shovel and rock salt out from the garage and wonder to myself  When is Easter this year?