Ridiculous Parentisms

When I was a little girl children were forbidden to talk back to their parents. It was a time when children were to be seen and not heard. And because of that, mothers (and fathers) were free to say things as they wished—no matter how ridiculous what they said sounded--because their words were guaranteed to go unanswered.

Parents answered to no one—especially not their children.

But the lack of response  from the children in those days did not mean that they did not notice the verbal inconsistencies and unsound reasoning  inherent in their parent’s arguments—because they did. Even intellectually ungifted children knew their parents were not logicians. Children talked back to their parents out loud all the time—just under their breath.

So when a parent would say Get over here so I can smack you. The child would think Are you serious? I am not buying that invitation. I’ll stay right here thank you very much.

Or if a parent said Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about, the child would think How do you expect me to refrain from crying by threatening to extend my crying?

It made no sense.

But my favorite ridiculous parent-ism was I hope you have a child just like you someday.

This one got me every time. I would think Of course I want a child just like me. At least then my child, as opposed to me, would finally be understood by someone. If I had a child just like me then I would know how to better handle the situation—I would understand what made that child tick and be able to avoid conflict. I would have a comrade not a combatant.

Having a child like me would be a blessing, not a curse.

So bring it on Mom.

And I think the fact that my children were able to speak their mind was a good thing. It kept me on my toes. The expectation of a response made me twice as cautious to think before I spoke.

And thinking before speaking is never ever a bad thing--no matter to whom you are speaking. And saying what you mean and meaning what your say is better preparation for a child for when they reach adulthood. Not to mention, sometimes a child’s perspective is pretty damn logical and ought to be paid attention to.

Besides, in this day and age, any parent who threatens their child with bodily harm, flirts with assault charges. And even if modern day parents feel no need to answer to their children, they are mandated to answer to the law.