Dancing with Ellen DeGeneres

From time to time I watch the Ellen DeGeneres show. The part of the show I love most is when she dances. And I love it because it proves my theory: People my age are not obligated  to only  listen to  music circa 1982 nor are they obligated to retain their circa 1982 dance moves. And note well, when I say “dance moves,” I am being generous with the term.

I am peeved to see people my age only get up on the dance floor at an event when the DJ plays the Bee Gee’s” Stayin’ Alive or K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s That the Way I Like It. What I find glaringly inconsistent is that many of those same people--who are rarely in need of a fashion or beauty make-over, have chosen not to stay current with either music, and/or dance moves. While their personal styling makes them appear younger than they are, their stagnant taste in music and dance moves reveals their true age almost instantly.

People my age (50ish) must abandon their 1980’s Courtney Cox Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark video pseudo pony-like east-west shift of the feet while swinging their arms dance move thing.  Those moves are like wearing a neon blinking banner that reads Caution: 50 year old on the dance floor. Just the way if you see someone on the dance floor dancing the Lindy or the Peabody, you know they are 80+ years old.

I happen to enjoy new music and I have modified my dance moves accordingly. But because of that, I have heard comments like:  I can’t believe you listen to that. I can’t believe you dance like that. What do you think—that you are a teenager? Are you just trying to get in with your daughters? Don’t you think that you are a little old to be listening/dancing like that?

And the answer to all those questions is a resounding: NO!! Music and dance transcend age. Humans evolve. I am free (like Ellen DeGeneres) to enjoy Lady Gaga, Usher, and Florence and the Machine. And since I watch Dancing with the Stars, I know that dancing the foxtrot to a waltz or dancing the samba to a jive is a no-no. No one ever Irish step dances to The Nutcracker do they? So why would I do the Courtney Cox thing to Lil' John’s Get Low?  It’s nonsensical.  If it is still age appropriate for me to wear purple nail polish, then I can grind my pelvis on the dance floor while singing:  Apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur.  I refuse to get stuck in a musical/dance time warp. Music and dance is candy to the soul. And I can tell you one thing for ‘sho…this shorty is going to keep getting low low low low low low low low ah…Even if I need an epidural afterwards. Which I might. Just because I don’t look my age, or dance my age, doesn’t mean my age won’t keep its criticism to itself.