Following my Passion

I was a big Oprah fan. Not crazy as in I wouldn't miss a show or tried to stalk her. But for 25 years she kept me company in my kitchen during dinnertime. And as corny as it sounds, because of her, I became a better spouse, parent, daughter and friend.

I thoroughly enjoyed Oprah's last show. It was an intimate talk and I felt as if she was in my family room talking to me. She spoke about finding your passion and that living your passion was the key to self fulfillment. It was the necessary puzzle piece to complete one's life mission.

But what if you don't have a passion? Because I am pretty sure that I don't. And if I haven't discovered it by age 50 when is it going to happen? I mean it's not like I haven't tried out a few--I played tennis, platform tennis and golf. And while they could have become genuine pathways to fulfillment ultimately I could not allow a ball be the thing that defined me (not to mention the fact that I wasn't either young or talented enough to make a living playing any of these sports).

I also tried to be passionate about PTA. In fact I held many executive positions and was pretty well respected for my thoughts and analysis. But that too ran its course when I realized that no matter how intensely I lobbied for a cause, the powers in authority were going to do what they wanted despite being presented with the morally correct path.  And of course, once my kids were out of school, being a member of PTA was pointless.

So now what? What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?  I thought I was fulfilled (kind of) but Oprah says I need more-- and if I don't find it I won't fulfill my destiny. Crap. I watched the series Lost--I know all about destiny and what happens if you don't fulfill it--the smoke monster sucks you up.

Which is why I started this blog. I do like writing and it definitely comes easily to me. My friends and family have even told me on occassion that I should be published. And while that is complimentary it likely won't happen (other than doing this) and not necessarily because I am not talented, but mostly because I am lazy and have perimenopausal induced ADD (which is also why golf was such a chore).

So for now, until I figure out a more respectable path, I'll write as often as I can on Thoughts from Karenland. And when people ask me, "What do you do?" Instead of saying "uh.... I stay at home?" I will now say I have a website. I am a writer.

By the way....in addition to not really having discovered a passion, I am pretty sure I haven't discovered my g-spot either. That's another thing I was perfectly content not knowing was necessary for fulfillment--but that's an essay for another day.