On the news tonight they showed a charity golf event. It was for the Blind Golf Association. Blind golfers are lined up to the ball by a seeing partner and wa-la they can play 18 holes of golf and do it well.
At my Country Club there is a gentleman who has a neuromuscular disease. This gentleman walks with a cane, has uncontrolled muscle movement, yet by concentrating and leaning in such a way, manages not only to hit the ball, but has won club championships in his flight.
Okay so I'll admit it. I hated golf and yes it was because I was not very good at it. And by all the aforementioned accounts, even blind people or people with with neuromuscular diseases can have a lower handicap than I did when I played.
Golf is difficult and frustrating. It takes forever to play when you are playing it well, and when you play it badly, it seems even longer than that---like to infinity and beyond (to quote Buzz Lightyear). Before every swing of the club you need a positive swing thought while remembering to keep your eye on the ball, not take too big of a back swing, not pull your arms in, hit squarely through the ball, and then finish in an awkward pose. Easy right? And the minute you think you have mastered the game poof it falls apart. You can par one hole, and triple bogey the next and not be able to figure out why. And to have any degree of success, you need to make it a part-time job--literally--you need to spend at least 20 hours a week sometimes just to maintain your handicap. I was out to dinner the other night with two ladies who needed to go home early because they had work in the morning: i.e. their Friday morning golf game.
And then there are the golf outfits: heinous at best. I do not care how lean and svelt your body is, no one looks good in a collared golf shirt and bermuda shorts with front pockets. Add the saddle shoes with spikes and you have instant birth control. No man (except for blind golfers will find you attractive. In my opinion, all lady golfers look like they play on the same team. Women's golf attire isn't exactly feminine. It's the kind of stuff Chaz Bono would wear and wear well.
So there you have it. My golf rant. And yet, when I walk by the first tee, smell the grass, feel the soft summer wind at my back, and look toward the flag, I miss playing---it's kind of like childbirth I suppose. Maybe I should try a blindfold and a cane--my game couldn't be any worse.
At my Country Club there is a gentleman who has a neuromuscular disease. This gentleman walks with a cane, has uncontrolled muscle movement, yet by concentrating and leaning in such a way, manages not only to hit the ball, but has won club championships in his flight.
Okay so I'll admit it. I hated golf and yes it was because I was not very good at it. And by all the aforementioned accounts, even blind people or people with with neuromuscular diseases can have a lower handicap than I did when I played.
Golf is difficult and frustrating. It takes forever to play when you are playing it well, and when you play it badly, it seems even longer than that---like to infinity and beyond (to quote Buzz Lightyear). Before every swing of the club you need a positive swing thought while remembering to keep your eye on the ball, not take too big of a back swing, not pull your arms in, hit squarely through the ball, and then finish in an awkward pose. Easy right? And the minute you think you have mastered the game poof it falls apart. You can par one hole, and triple bogey the next and not be able to figure out why. And to have any degree of success, you need to make it a part-time job--literally--you need to spend at least 20 hours a week sometimes just to maintain your handicap. I was out to dinner the other night with two ladies who needed to go home early because they had work in the morning: i.e. their Friday morning golf game.
And then there are the golf outfits: heinous at best. I do not care how lean and svelt your body is, no one looks good in a collared golf shirt and bermuda shorts with front pockets. Add the saddle shoes with spikes and you have instant birth control. No man (except for blind golfers will find you attractive. In my opinion, all lady golfers look like they play on the same team. Women's golf attire isn't exactly feminine. It's the kind of stuff Chaz Bono would wear and wear well.
So there you have it. My golf rant. And yet, when I walk by the first tee, smell the grass, feel the soft summer wind at my back, and look toward the flag, I miss playing---it's kind of like childbirth I suppose. Maybe I should try a blindfold and a cane--my game couldn't be any worse.
Sending that one to my mother!
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