I worked at the Westchester County Department of Labs and Research many moons ago when I actually got paid for my employment. My title was Environmental Organic Chemist. It was a CSEA position.
Only two types of people worked at the lab: either young people right out of college who were looking to gain enough experience to allow them to leave for a large private company, or, the life-ers—people who were content to work as little as possible, sail under the radar of life, and collect a pretty decent salary for it. The lab was the kind of place where the people who got A’s in school ended up working for the people who got C’s.
The director of the lab was a woman named Dolly. Dolly was in her mid to late fifties and had only ever worked at the Lab. She was an ex-nun and had spent her time since leaving the convent living with her child hood girlfriend. Dolly had no sense of humor whatsoever. I mean zero—as in she never smiled—ever—not even a crack . Think of the character of Sue from Glee. And evidently she had attended nun training just long enough to exude that Catholic school I-want-to-mind-bang-you attitude thing. She thrived on mind banging people. And she particularly enjoyed mind-banging the young people who had no intention of becoming life-ers—they were her favorite victims.
At the lab, in order to walk from one designated coffee drinking area to the other coffee designated drinking area, you had to pass through the chemistry lab which was a non-designated area. Every day, I and about 5 or 6 of my co-workers carried our coffee through the illegal coffee zone to the legal coffee drinking zone because was no other viable alternative. But in doing so, we had to pass by Dolly’s office, which was made of glass.
At the lab, in order to walk from one designated coffee drinking area to the other coffee designated drinking area, you had to pass through the chemistry lab which was a non-designated area. Every day, I and about 5 or 6 of my co-workers carried our coffee through the illegal coffee zone to the legal coffee drinking zone because was no other viable alternative. But in doing so, we had to pass by Dolly’s office, which was made of glass.
On 2 or 3 occasions Dolly mentioned to me (and only me---I was being singled out) that she didn’t want coffee transported through the non-designated zone. It was a health hazard—as if the chemicals could jump off of the lab tables out of the test tubes entirely of their own accord into my coffee cup. But when I mentioned that it was physically impossible to get from one designated area to the other, she simply said then don’t drink coffee. And while I might have been young, I knew this had noting to do with health hazards. It was about authority. It was about control. It was about setting an example. But I had never feared bullies before and submitting to authority just for authority’s sake was permanently off my “things to do” list--it was the price of too many years of Catholic school education.
So I continued to transport illegal cups of coffee into the DMCZ (demilitarized coffee zone) until one day she called me into her office to have me sign a letter of insubordination for my permanent file. The letter read—and I swear this is true: Miss Manello refuses to stop transporting coffee through the undesignated coffee drinking area to the designated coffee drinking area despite repeated requests for her not to do so. As she is in violation of the coffee transport rule, I am citing her for insubordination.
I was speechless. My brain translated that letter into : Karen doesn’t listen to me—and so I'm telling on her. But instead of crying and begging her not to cite me, I told her in a reverent tone that if she felt that that was what she needed to do to make herself feel more important, that I would have no problem signing it—the citation was a poorer reflection on her for writing it, than for me for signing it. Needless to say she as not happy with my response.
But the story is not over. For days afterwards I walked down the hall past her office with my coffee cup in hand sipping from it as if there was coffee in it. I could see her sitting in her office behind her glass walls seething with anger until finally she took the bait. Dolly came screaming down the hall at me while I was in a crowd of co-workers yelling Miss Manello stop right there! Stop right there!! I told you before not to carry coffee around!! I will have you brought up to the union!!! I have witnesses!!
I was speechless. My brain translated that letter into : Karen doesn’t listen to me—and so I'm telling on her. But instead of crying and begging her not to cite me, I told her in a reverent tone that if she felt that that was what she needed to do to make herself feel more important, that I would have no problem signing it—the citation was a poorer reflection on her for writing it, than for me for signing it. Needless to say she as not happy with my response.
But the story is not over. For days afterwards I walked down the hall past her office with my coffee cup in hand sipping from it as if there was coffee in it. I could see her sitting in her office behind her glass walls seething with anger until finally she took the bait. Dolly came screaming down the hall at me while I was in a crowd of co-workers yelling Miss Manello stop right there! Stop right there!! I told you before not to carry coffee around!! I will have you brought up to the union!!! I have witnesses!!
And so I did stop, lowered my head, and turned the cup upside down. Not only was the cup empty, but it was perfectly clean and dry. I thought she was going to stroke out right there in front of us. She announced This is not funny! and stormed back to her office. powerless and defeated
The good news is, despite taking a risk it paid off. Her humiliation was so great, she pretty much left me alone from there on in. I also became a bit of a hero with my co-workers. My father was not proud of my behavior (he did not approve of smart-asses) but I was. No regrets--even now, 28 years later.
Sometimes the end justifies the means. Dolly was not a nice person. I am glad I was the one to get her to wake up and smell the coffee-- even if it was only until she preyed on the next victim.
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