Appreciating the Family Crazy Person

The topic today is: the family crazy person. Every family has one. And by crazy I do not mean organically crazy—as in a legit diagnosed case of schizophrenia or some other disease. I mean the person in the family who speaks unfiltered thoughts based on an alternative reality and routinely crosses the boundary of social appropriateness. You know—the person everyone tries to avoid at family functions. The one you feel obligated to warn the newbie in the family about—that person.

But here’s the thing. The crazy person serves a positive role in the family. They are the one the non-crazies bond over. They are the entertainment. They are the one you wonder about days in advance as to what pearls will fly from their mouths—and when they meet that expectation, you whisper to all the other non-crazy persons what the crazy person has said. And the evening typically is spent reliving the crazy person’s thoughts/behavior over and over again. The crazy person’s role is to prevent boredom—because when they are around, some drama will unfold—it is inevitable----it’s better than the New Jersey housewives. And the non-crazies will try and predict when and with whom the bizarre remark/behavior will fall—it’s all so exciting and perilous.

On occasion, the crazy person acts normally—and the non-crazies are disappointed and fearful. The non-crazies will say I wonder what has gotten into so-in-so today? The crazy person is not living up to expectations. Because if the crazy person ever becomes” normal”, someone else in the non-crazy person pack will by default have to be nominated for the vacant position. Families cannot function without the crazy person---and the non-crazies fear it will be them one day—the shunned one.

That is why the crazy person should be celebrated and encouraged. They make the non-crazies appear sane. They are the baseline. They are the example not to follow. They are the one the non-crazies must secretly route on to be as outrageous as possible.

And sometimes the crazy person gets it right. They are also the broken clock of the family—they are correct twice a day. Their moments of clarity must be valued-- no matter how infrequent.

So the next time you know the crazy person will be spending some quality time with you and the other non-crazies, relax and enjoy. Embrace the fireworks. Remember to say oooh and ahhhh as they let loose. You are not alone. Every family has a crazy person (or two). They are the spice (and Rolaids) of life. And it is crucial to keep them around---for you may be next in line.

Addendum: This posting is intentionally ambiguous. The fact that it may describe many people is precisely the point of my writing. The person who was in my head when I was making my descriptions is deceased-- and I did not want to speak ill of the dead.