Last week as I was emptying the dishwasher I was listening to the ladies of The View. And the hot topic of the day regarded evidence that showed that women who stayed at home suffered equal stress levels to those women who worked outside the home. And Joy Behar thought that was ridiculous—she thought women who stayed at home had it easier—and it was all Whoopi could do to keep Sherri Sheppard and Elisabeth Hasselback from beating up on Joy and biting her ear off like Mike Tyson.
I met a teacher friend the other day and she said to me—Your kids are grown and out of the house (not really, one flew back) so what do you do all day?
I hate that question. I have been hearing it for 25 years now. I find it rude—yet I still feel the need to defend myself. So I told her I was busy all day long---there was always some “thing” I needed to do. And I told her that I had no desire at this point in my life to have to answer to another human being—I had enough bosses already—and if I wanted to fly to Atlanta to visit my daughter, I did not want to ask anyone’s permission.
But she wasn’t satisfied by this so she asked but how do you spend your day? And although I am kind of proud of my blog, and I believe my thoughts have worth on many different levels, I am still insecure about telling people that I do it. I fear people will mock its value. I fear the smirk. But I told her about it anyway. To which she replied You have a website? What do you write about? I said—oh just stuff. And she said but do you get paid? And I said well not yet but maybe—I could monetize it—but right now –no.
And what I feared became reality—she secretly mocked me. In her mind, if I did not get a paycheck, there was no value in my work. I was just wasting time. I was merely a Garden City housewife pretending to be a writer.
I hate that question. I have been hearing it for 25 years now. I find it rude—yet I still feel the need to defend myself. So I told her I was busy all day long---there was always some “thing” I needed to do. And I told her that I had no desire at this point in my life to have to answer to another human being—I had enough bosses already—and if I wanted to fly to Atlanta to visit my daughter, I did not want to ask anyone’s permission.
But she wasn’t satisfied by this so she asked but how do you spend your day? And although I am kind of proud of my blog, and I believe my thoughts have worth on many different levels, I am still insecure about telling people that I do it. I fear people will mock its value. I fear the smirk. But I told her about it anyway. To which she replied You have a website? What do you write about? I said—oh just stuff. And she said but do you get paid? And I said well not yet but maybe—I could monetize it—but right now –no.
And what I feared became reality—she secretly mocked me. In her mind, if I did not get a paycheck, there was no value in my work. I was just wasting time. I was merely a Garden City housewife pretending to be a writer.
A man came home from work one day. The morning breakfast coffee cups and cereal bowls were in the sink. There were crumbs on the floor. The pillows and cushions on the couch were askew. The beds were not made and the laundry overflowed the laundry basket. The dry cleaning remained hung in plastic bags on the bedroom closet door knob. Yesterday’s clothes were on the floor in same “just-walked-out-of” position from the day before. There was toothpaste smeared in the sink and hair on the floor. The checks and bank deposit slips were on the countertop. The answering machine had 6 unanswered calls. And the plumber did not show because he hadn’t been called. And the dinner reservations for Saturday night were not made. There was nose schmutz from the dogs on all of the glass doors. And there was no food in the refrigerator nor dinner on the table. And the husband turned to the wife and said What happened? And the wife said you know how you like to ask me what I do all day? Well today I didn’t do it.
On my Facebook page, under job description it reads: family psychologist, guidance counselor, personal shopper. Elder care provider, dog care specialist and trainer, chef, taxi driver, interior designer. Stylist, book club president, free-lance writer, triage nurse, researcher, public relations analyst, cheerleader, part time comedian and maid.
At any given moment I am performing one or more of this job positions. I am always busy. I am always employed. I am a blackberry message away from all my employers at all times. My skills are always in demand. And but for my writing I have no personal time. I have worth—it just hasn’t been monetized—but neither does it mean my work is valueless—my time is not squandered---my education is not unspent. The fact that I do not earn a daily wage measured in dollars simply means my work is priceless—it more than money can buy.
At any given moment I am performing one or more of this job positions. I am always busy. I am always employed. I am a blackberry message away from all my employers at all times. My skills are always in demand. And but for my writing I have no personal time. I have worth—it just hasn’t been monetized—but neither does it mean my work is valueless—my time is not squandered---my education is not unspent. The fact that I do not earn a daily wage measured in dollars simply means my work is priceless—it more than money can buy.
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