It is my birthday. Today I turn 51 . When you have had that many birthdays you cannot remember all of them. Some birthdays are just more outstanding than others. And the “big” birthdays aren’t necessarily the most memorable.
August 30, 2007 was a crisp cool morning. Fall was making a preview. I asked my friends to join me at the Sandwich Shop in town for some breakfast. They had wanted to take me out for lunch for my birthday but sometimes I prefer comfort food—and the Sandwich Shop serves comfort food. It is a tiny Greek diner that is only open 6am to 6 pm.
And I was nervous. Not about breakfast but because it was the last day of field hockey tryouts for Kara. And even though I thought she was deserving of making the team my opinion didn’t count. Only Chappy’s (the coach’s ) did. And even though I had had a dream the night before where my cousin Gary had hugged me, it was just going to be a long day waiting for the actual decision. The reassurance Gary gave me in my dream may not have been credible. Gary had passed away long ago.
And when pick up time rolled around later that day, I arrived early. And at first I sat in the car with all the windows open listening to inspirional rap music---Ludacris’ uncensored singing of Get back mutha-f—ers you don’t know me like that… And soon I was watching the parents of the “real athletes” picking up their kids. But Kara was nowhere to be seen. And I thought I was going to throw up. I had no idea how I was going to console her if she didn’t make the team. Scratch that. I didn’t know how I was going to console Kara or myself if she didn’t make the team. You see I didn’t know what would have been worse—her disappointment or my disappointment over her disappointment. All I knew was that it would be the best birthday ever if she made the team—for her and for me.
So I got out of the car and waited at the fence. And I was standing next to the mom of the team captain. I did not know her really. And then her daughter came out. And I was busting and I had to ask the captain where Kara was. Erin (the captain) told me that Kara was talking with the coach---the coach was in the process of telling everyone who did and did not make the team. And now I really really wanted to throw up. And after two eternities and twenty seven years, I could see Kara approaching. But I could not read anything from her body language. She looked neither happy nor unhappy. And I decided to not ask her what Chappy’s decision was until she got really really close—as in 9 inches away from me before I asked—just in case the news was not good and I had to whisk her into the car before the tears flowed.
But I didn’t have to ask her. When she was a few feet away she smiled that famous Kara smile—and she said I made it! And I still wanted to throw up but now it was happy throw up instead of sad throw up.
I got the best birthday present ever. Because I knew that making the team was the gift that kept on giving. It was going to be 2 years of team and parent bonding—trips to Syracuse and potential state championships. It meant sports dinners and an ad in The Men’s Association’s Yearbook. It was sports sorority—and while many were called few were ever chosen—especially kids like Kara who did not come from a family of athletes. But Kara had done it all on her own. She went from JV-B to varsity. She was the longshot that won the race.
I might have had a glass of wine or two at dinner that night. I don’t remember. Usually I remember details like that but after she made the team time stood still. I just know that Kara was beaming with pride—and her pride became mine—it was a gift--and nothing can compare with seeing your child accomplish what they have set out to do--especially when it is your birthday. My cousin Gary knew what he was doing the night before when he hugged me in my dream. All was right with the world.
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