When I was a little girl my mother would tell me that I chose her to be my mother. She said that my soul looked down from heaven and decided that I wanted to live with her. It was a sweet thought for a little girl. But I actually think it is true. I think our souls choose to live in the bodies we live in. We choose our life’s path before we are born. We are called. And destiny and free will live hand in hand from that point on just like it did for Forrest Gump.
So on some level I thought when I was pregnant that I could almost summon the child I wished for. And on some level I thought that by choosing the correct name of the child, I could inspire my children’s souls to jump into their bodies. And since by nature I like to overthink, the names of all my children (including the dog children) were deliberating chosen and given based on the name’s meaning.
Samantha is a Hebrew name which means “teachable one” or “one who listens.” And the added plus is that her name, Samantha Jo, is a nod to my father Samuel, and my father-in-law Joseph. (It has nothing to do with the Heather Locklear character in Dynasty.)
Briana is a Gaelic name. It means “strong-willed” or “exalted”. Briana’s middle name is Dawn which also means Aurora, my mother’s name.
And Kara is a latin name. It mean “beloved” and it is a derivative of Karina which was the nickname given to me by my cousin Betty. Kara’s middle name is Alene--a derivative of Helene (my middle name)—which was chosen to honor both my grandmothers: Helen and Lena.
And seemingly, all that name research and bestowment worked. I got what I asked for. My children chose me based on their given names. Samantha argues the least with me and listens to me the most---she is “teachable”. Briana was my “Irish” baby—fair skinned with blond hair (nowadays it gets help from Vinny) and blue eyes-- and God knows is exhaustingly strong willed. And Kara is beloved—and of the 3, is the most annoyingly like myself.
My husband’s name is Arthur Philip . And I could not figure out how to work his name into the mix. He is named for the obstetrician that birthed him and his Uncle Phil (his godfather). And Arthur means “bear” or “stone” and Philip means “lover of horses”. Neither which applies to my husband at all. He is definitely not a” bear” (as in ill-tempered), and but for the Kentucky Derby every year, he is not a lover of horses either—especially riding them. So either my husband wasn’t paying attention up in heaven when my mother-in-law chose his name and beckoned to him down to Earth or my husband, upon landing in his body, chose to use his free will and change his destiny. I haven’t asked him recently. Either way, my husband will have to wait until the next generation to see his name bestowed---perhaps then Arthur Philip will summon a child that will be a” bear” as in “somebody who anticipates bad business conditions” or an equestrian—a lover of horses.
And as far as destiny and free will goes—I agree with Forrest Gump:
I don’t know if we each have a destiny or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it’s both.
You may summon a child, and they may choose you to nurture their destiny, but how the child chooses to learn from life’s chance elements ultimately determines what kind of chocolate they become. If you are a mother, and you are lucky, you get a variety: nuts, truffels and caramels---and you love them all equally-- and because of and not in spite of their differences. Or as Ana Lee Smith—the first grade teacher of all 3 of my girls once told me: you get to love and hate something different in each of them
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