My friend Nancy and I have been trying to get together for lunch but our schedules have been a little out of sync. So when I had to cancel this past Tuesday, she asked if maybe we could reschedule this Thursday, and so we did. And Wednesday I got a message from Nancy on my tape:
Karen I totally forgot that I already made plans weeks ago with some of the Moms of Kristen’s friends. I just remembered. I am so sorry. I hope you are not angry. I can’t believe I forgot.
My brother and his wife planned a trip to Las Vegas for their anniversary and since they live in Suffolk County and I live fairly close to both New York airports he asked me if they could leave their car at my house and would I drive them to the airport. I told them no problem. I told them for the return flight though, they would have to use Ritchie—our airport guy. I didn’t like picking up at the airport late at night. But here’s the important thing: I didn’t write any of the information down as he was telling me it. I expected myself to memorize the entire itinerary.
So when the time came closer to Mark and Jodi’s anniversary I called my brother and asked When am I driving you again? and he said This Thursday and I said What time was it again? And he said 7:30 ( and I thought driving at 7:30 at night isn’t so bad—maybe I would take my husband with me). And then I said What airport? And he said Kennedy (and I thought eew—I hate driving to Kennedy---it makes me stressed—I prefer La Guardia—I drive there all the time--but that’s fine I will manage) And he asked again Are you sure you can drive us? (I think he was concerned because I remembered absolutely nothing from our previous phone call) And again I said No problem—I’d be happy to.
The day before their trip Jodi called to say that they planned on arriving at my house around 7:15 or 7:30. And I asked Jodi to call me when she crossed into Garden City so I could be ready and waiting at the door—it would give me about a 10 minute leeway.
But on Thursday morning two unusual things happened—my husband went in early to his office, and I slept in. And so I was deep in dreamland when I was awakened by the telephone---and I looked at the caller ID and it was my brother—and I was concerned why he would be calling me so early. So I answered the phone hurriedly. It was Jodi. She said We just got off the parkway we will be there in about ten minutes. I went on autopilot and said Okay and hung up the phone.
WHAT?!!! Oh my God they needed me to drive them at 7:30 am NOT 7:30 pm. How could I have forgotten that little detail? So I jumped out of bed quickly and washed my face and brushed my teeth, and put on yesterday’s clothes and ran down the steps to let out the dogs. And of all mornings, there was no coffee in the pot and there was no time to make a cup either. I was going to have to fake this whole thing without morning caffeine. And by the time I got the dogs in, and tossed them some cookies (because I had no time to feed them) my brother was behind my door.
And I fake smiled. And I fake asked them So are you excited? And they said Yes. And I told my brother (because I was still too sleepy to do so) that he should drive to the airport and when they got out I would drive home. But both Jodi and Mark said No. You know the way better than we do, you should drive. And I didn’t want to let on that I was almost drunk with sleepiness nor did I want them to know what an idiot I was so I smiled and got behind the driver’s wheel. And I navigated the Belt parkway through the sleepy mucosal film on my eyes. And I drove at 45 miles an hour as if I was either an 80 year old woman or had a blood alcohol level outside of the legal limit. And my brother said Do you know the way? (I think he noticed my impairment) And I said Yes. But since my brain was so caffeine deprived it was taking me a really long time to remember the directions. The neurons were firing very very slowly. God bless those little signs with airplanes on them on the Belt parkway or we would have been lost because the car we were driving (Jodi’s) had no GPS—and my brain was incapable of processing anything other than pictures.
But miracles of miracles I got them there. And I kissed them good bye and wished them a bon voyage. And I still haven’t told them of my little memory lapse (or was it a mere miscommunication?) And by the time I dropped them off the adrenaline from the stress of rush hour on the Belt parkway and Kennedy airport had kicked in so the caffeine wasn’t as necessary (although it still was very necessary). And I got off the parkway two exits early just so I could get some Dunkin Donuts and drive back through Garden City without getting pulled over by the GC Po-Po (rapper slang for police) for a caffeine deprived DWI.
So the fact that Nancy had to cancel our plans was totally forgivable. This pot could never call her kettle black. I am at an age where I should write things down but I am afraid to start getting into the habit of sticky notes. Once you start relying on the sticky note, your brain atrophies that much quicker—just like the way no one remembers phone numbers anymore because we all rely on electronic contact lists in our smart phones.
If you don’t use it, you lose it. My fear is I am losing it even though I am using it—or maybe not—I remember my home phone number from 1960-1972: it was 914-969-2546---I haven’t dialed that number in 38 years.
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