Bad Things/Good People

One of the most difficult things about being on the PTA executive board was prioritizing. The directors from the primary and elementary schools felt that the educational stakes in the lower grades were equal to or greater than those of the middle and high school. Board members who had children in the upper grades understood that recovering from a bad teacher in the third grade, while frustrating, was a quicker fix than recovering from a bad teacher in the 11^th grade. The consequences in the upper grades were more dire and much more complicated. There was a big difference between understanding fractions and understanding quadratic equations.

And the gap in dogma between board members extended to social issues as well. Board members who had no experience with the social pressures (particularly) in in the high school were quick to judge. They were certain that their experience with their children would be different than everybody else---they read all the right books---they engaged their children---they were invested in their extracurricular activities—they made inroads with all the right people. They held a winning hand. Not only would they never allow their child to do this or that, they were certain that their stellar parenting was an impermeable shield to every evil of adolescence—until they arrived and saw that their imagined idyllic destination was not so perfect. Sometimes despite doing everything right, lots of things went wrong. Goodness was no guarantee against badness. The formula was not as neat as if I do this, my kids will do that.

Sometimes discussions among board members grew contentious. There were two teams: those who knew everything and those who knew better.

And I think that is why people who believe themselves to be religious often meet disappointment. They think that because they attend church and put money in the basket and say their prayers and lead a righteous lifestyle that they are immune from bad things happening to them. So when bad things happen, they say why me? They believe religious devotion should yield immunity---as if life was a weekly challenge on a reality show.

They question why bad things happen to good people.

But the raw truth is that bad things may happen to all people—goodness is never a factor.

Humans may think but do not have all the information. That’s why they are not God.

And neither are parents--no matter how informed and well-read and how invested they are, things go awry. And the trick is to understand that while it is a good idea to stack the odds in your favor, it doesn’t guarantee victory---because that is what people who really know everything, really know for sure.