Favorite Toys and Childhood Dreams

“Tiger” was my favorite stuffed animal. His eyes glowed in the dark. He also was my smartest student. When I would play school and line up all my animals in front of my chalkboard he would always answer all my questions correctly. He was the only stuffed animal that received a 100% on every math or spelling test I devised.

He was the teacher’s pet.

If you asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have said a teacher or an actress. I could never decide which profession was better. All I knew was I loved standing on stage at Emerson elementary school playing Miss Henny Penny while the crowd cheered. And I also rejoiced in chalk, erasers and teacher’s edition reading books that my father brought home for me from the Yonkers Public Schools.

But it wasn’t until 12^th grade when I volunteered to work with Father Hickey teaching CCD to 7^th graders that I received some real hands-on pedagogic experience. I discovered that  standing in front of a bunch of well-behaved stuffed animals who hung on every word you said was way more fun than standing in front of living breathing pubescents. Thirteen year old boys and girls were positively obnoxious. And even the most attentive students were not so engaged in the activity to make the experience fruitful—either for them or for me.

I always felt sorry for Father Hickey who despite trying very hard to be patient and get God’s message across failed every time. It would have driven any man to drink—which is precisely what happened—Father Hickey ended up in rehab.

So I never became a classroom teacher. I knew that I could never feign concern over students I did not like very much---I did not have the fortitude. And to be a good teacher one must attend to every student—even the annoying ones.

But over the course of the years I did get to enjoy my love of the stage. In 8^th grade I played Mrs. MacAfee in an abbreviated version of Bye Bye Birdie--I sang a solo with Jackie Degnan. In high school I had a lead part in a play called “For Women Only.” And when I became involved in PTA acting took on another form-- running PTA meetings or speaking in front of the Board of Education. On any stage I enjoyed the rush of “all eyes on me.” I found delight in captivating my audience. I felt omnipotent—especially when I could feel the crowd in agreement with my words—they nodded their heads gently.

And I chose Kara to be the keeper of my most treasured childhood toy. “Tiger” sits regally  in her room on top of her desk. Over fifty years later most of Tiger’s fur still remains-- although his right ear is a bit thread bare. And his eyes still glow in the dark---an indication his vision is still sharp. His physical presence reminds me that for every teacher, a favorite star student remains in the heart forever—it’s what keeps teachers teaching---- the quintessential Academy award for every classroom warrior.