Empty Nesting--It's Pretty Good

One summer night around 11:30 pm one of my daughters called me on her cell phone. She was nineteen at the time. She whispered with her hand partially covering the speaker: Mom. I am going to be a little late. I am stuck in John’s (not his real name) attic with a few random people.

Remaining calm I asked—How and why are you stuck in John’s attic? I knew she had planned to be at John’s house---I dropped her off myself. She and a few college friends were in his backyard hanging out. When you are under 21 there is not a whole lot else you can do on a Saturday night. And while the parents were not home, this was not a rager by any means.

She said the neighbors called the cops and when we saw the cop cars pull up we ran into the house--but then the cops came into the house to investigate. So we ran upstairs and someone pulled the attic steps down so we could go up there and hide. The cops didn’t look up here, but now they are camped out in front of the house and we can’t leave until they do.

And I thought Gee this story sounds awfully familiar. Oh yeah it sounds like the diary of Ann Frank. Yes Ann Frank was stuck in the attic with some random people when she was hiding from the Nazi’s.

People worry about what life will be life when the nest is empty. They anticipate being lonely. They are concerned about all the free time that can now be shared with their spouse. They fear the alone-time. They fear that life will become dull.

I assure you all that worry is for nothing. Because while yes, you miss the company of your children—you only miss their company during the daylight hours. You do not miss parenting them once the sun sets.

There is something really wonderful about going out with your husband on a Saturday night and not checking your cell phone every ten minutes for text messages. And it is more wonderful still when you get home after dinner and you may lock the door with full knowledge that you do not have to go out again.

Because worrying that the Nazi’s will jail your college age child is not fun. And picking them up after the Nazi’s have left their stakeout is counterintuitive to what you have been taught as a parent. You realize that the policeman is not your friend or theirs—and it is best not to learn it the hard way.

And while all this parenting nonsense is somewhat suspenseful and exhilarating—I prefer the peace of my empty nest--even if my nest is a little bit dull yet very very neat. I prefer a quiet dinner with no worries. I prefer chasing my dogs to chasing after exiled children.