Are You Blind or Just Stupid?

My three daughters each came home from the hospital wearing a petite lace headband with a bow and tiny pearls. I was proud to signal the world that womankind had new members.

My girls always were dressed like girls. And if the bow/headband wasn’t a big enough clue, they always wore feminine clothing—lots of pink and eyelet and embroidery and lace. And even when they wore overalls the shirts underneath had rosebuds or hearts or flowers printed on them. At all times there were physical indicators representative of their gender. Which is why it made me insane when people would peer into their stroller and inquire it’s a boy—right? And it was all I could do to be polite and not say are you blind or just stupid? Which I didn’t say--I would simply smile and respond  no--she’s a little girl.

My girlfriend Elaine had 2 golden labs: Lucy and Gillian. And while yes they were both the same breed, they were 2 different varieties: one was English and one was American . Physically they looked very different. One was broad with a square face; and one was lean with a long narrow face. The only times I called the two dogs erroneously by name was when I got tongue-tied—but always knew which one was which. Yet some of Elaine’s friends and family members would repeatedly ask which one is Lucy and which one is Gillian? How do you tell them apart? And of course the answer to the question of how do you tell them apart would be I use my eyes and then my brain tells me---but of course Elaine never said that.  She would simply point out which dog was which.

I now have 2 dogs. But unlike Lucy and Gillian they are two completely different breeds. Jasper is a Wheaton terrier and Cosmo is a mini Goldendoodle. They only thing that they have physically in common is coloration and the fact that they are both dogs. Jasper looks like a Wheaton terrier equipped with the distinct Wheaton terrier haircut and Cosmo looks like a miniature golden retriever with poodle-y coat. Even at a distance or out of the corner of one’s eye they are distinct. The only question a reasonable person should ask me is what 2 breeds of dog are they? Yet people will come to my side door or look at them from my driveway and ask me are they twins ? They look so much alike.

And I have to wonder how do these people function in the real world? If the Bell and Evans chicken lies next to the Kobe porterhouse steak in Key Food do they confuse the two? Do they try to use the Volkswagon key to start their Mercedes? Do they buy daisies when they thought to buy roses? What makes people say such illogical and seemingly unobservant things? Because the only possible time these people may get it right is if they encounter a transgender child or the dogs are carried by surrogates. Otherwise I can only conclude that they are blind and/or stupid.