My friend Elaine and I are thorough people. And we both revel in being prepared. We enjoy researching our options. And we like to get a head start on things. So when Elaine suggested that we take our daughters, Sam and Amanda on a college tour between their sophomore and junior year of high school, I agreed. My guidance counselor, like hers, felt that it was not too early to start looking at schools.
We decided to do the Fairfield, Boston College, and Boston University run. We thought that it would give the girls a good sense of what they might be looking for in a school. And so we made our plans.
The first stop was Fairfield. As is typical of college visits we sat through an information session and then we went on a campus tour. Our tour guide was a third year student and he would best be described as an overachiever. This kid was an overachiever even for overachievers. His face was on Wikipedia over the text for the definition of overachiever. He was a triple major: international business, finance and Spanish. He had just come back from building houses in some indigent country like Guatemala. He was simultaneously interning and taking summer courses. And after graduation before starting work he planned on going into the Peace Corps. And he was also the class president and on an academic scholarship. Elaine and I were impressed. Samantha and Amanda looked like deer in headlights.
And when the tour was over we decided to grab a bite to eat at the local diner. Elaine and I carried the entire conversation ourselves. Samantha and Amanda were absolutely silent. And as the girls withdrew more and more, Elaine and I became more animated. And Elaine and I were yack yack yack about how poised and mature the tour guide was. And we went on about how motivated he was. And we oogled over his accomplishments in and out of school. And we just couldn’t say enough about the passion this kid had for life and his willingness to leave his comfort zone. And just when all the praise reached its resounding crescendo Amanda, with an onion ring hanging out of her mouth said in absolute desperation Am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life?
And at first we were silent—this was an existential moment—it was a solemn awakening. Until this point Amanda (and Samantha too) thought college was exclusively about beer and boys. The only future they understood at age 16 was where the party was this Saturday night. I don’t think either of them had ever considered that college had an endpoint—life. And had it not been for the onion ring hanging out of her mouth I think the conversation would have turned to enlightened and inspirational talk—but there was an onion ring hanging out of her mouth-- and that was funny---too funny---overwhelmingly funny--and so we all laughed. And the tension broke. And Elaine and I realized that that tour guide had totally freaked these girls out. So we reassured them that that tour guide was not representative of the average college kid. And Amanda and Samantha were able to breathe again.
I spoke on the phone last week with a career coach. She specializes in helping women reinvent themselves. I contacted her because I wanted to investigate where to take my blog. And she fired lots of options at me and she spoke about marketing concepts and tying in to other blogs and resources and different possibilities and monetization and publishing. And she asked if I want to be a professional blogger or a book author or both. And my head got too full of information too quickly and I was sweating and I had a headache. And I told her I would get back to her once I had thought it all over.
And then I had my very own onion ring moment Am I supposed to know what I want to do with my blog? Until that moment I thought my blog was the endpoint. I thought posting everyday was enough. I hadn’t thought about the future—I hadn’t thought past what I was going to write about tomorrow. I didn’t think I had to .Uggh I am 51 years old and I still don’t know what I should do with the rest of my life. I better not tell Amanda. I don’t want to scare her.
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