Briana graduated Garden City high School in 2007. It was also the year Marie Braccia, the principal of Stewart School retired. And the school district honored her many years of service by having her lead the graduation processional. She also gave the graduation speech. Dr. Braccia chose to talk about the book Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Those of us who sat through kindergarten orientation 13 years earlier with her remembered her giving the same speech. Dr. Braccia had simply modified it for graduation 13 years later. It was an edited rerun. But it still held up. It still had insight: The simple rules learned in kindergarten had lifelong value.
When Kara was 11 she began playing junior Met PGA tournaments. There were very few girls who played so they and the parents all knew each other. Most of the parents just dropped their kids off and left. I didn’t. I was uncomfortable leaving a child so young at a tournament. So was Mr. Chiang, Victoria’s dad. Victoria was an 11 old player too. She was always in Kara’s foursome since groups were set up based on handicap, gender, and age.
Victoria’s dad spoke with an Asian accent—he had old-world values. He believed that golf gave kids character. It taught them honor. He explained that being honorable was an important teaching in Asian culture. And he liked Kara and told me that she would bring much honor to my family.
Samantha’s first day of kindergarten was an exciting one. I understood that that day would change the map. Kindergarten launched a whole new world for both Sam and I. And before we left the house, after we had taken all the pictures and packed her snack and school supplies, it suddenly occurred to me that I should send her off with a profound message—and Kierkegaard’s existentialism was not tailor-made for a 5 year old. It needed to be a short prayer-like God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food we eat. And time was ticking. But miraculously, as if the words were channeled from a spirit guide, I thought to say Be good. Be smart. Listen to your teacher. And make yourself proud.
Although hastily composed, it summed up everything Sam (and eventually her sisters) needed to know—especially the make yourself proud part. That was carefully worded. That was the most important message. It is not a child’s job to make their mother or family proud. That is a terrible and unfair burden. If a child makes themselves proud, only good things can follow—and one consequence will be that the family will also be proud. And the way to becoming proud is to be good and respectful, to listen to people more knowledgeable than you, and to make smart educated decisions. Everything my girls needed to know they learned before Kindergarten.
I have said that “prayer”of Be good. Be Smart…. routinely to my girls ever since that day. I have said it despite eyeball rolling and groaned I know responses. I have said before every new page in their life. And now that they are adults, they understand that the simple words have much bigger meaning.
Mr. Chiang’s prophesy was correct: Kara has brought honor to her family. But she has done it only after she brought honor to herself first. I don’t know who that spirit guide was that whispered such profound thoughts into my ear that day, but I am forever grateful. Maybe he whispered them so that I would share them with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment